I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
