If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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