She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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