My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize