i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
