im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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