I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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