I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
nutella sex= disaster
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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