How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
