Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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