I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
