He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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