I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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