none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
