i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
