New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
