stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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