i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
