so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I need to align my fucking chakras
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
