I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
