You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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