why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
