All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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