I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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