You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
