I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
