Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
