I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
