The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
