we're blogging at a bar
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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