So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
4 words: hood of his car
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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