my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize