sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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