We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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