fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would ride that face into the sunset
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
