I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
