I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
