I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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