No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
