Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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