I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
