i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just google imaged poop.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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