HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
