remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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