Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
