is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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