she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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