honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
