i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
