then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
