Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
