GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
