I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
