I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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