peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't think brook has ever known best
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
