I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
