im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can text with my tongue
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize