I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
