She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
