I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
