let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize