You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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